Almost Like a Song

Our ability to relate senses to emotions is simply fascinating; for example (and a temporary sidetrack of the original intent of this post), the smell of  band-aids takes me back to 8 years old and an after-school program I was in.  Seeing Mountain Dew in a glass bottle takes me back to my teens and sneaking out of my bedroom at night to commandeer a Dew from my Dad’s supply in his office (sorry, dad; hope that’s not news to you).  Dobermans remind me of the time I got my butt bitten by a friend’s dog (that one probably should have been left out).  Moving on!

memoryHave you ever heard a song that instantly takes you over?  I mean you are driving down the road, just fine with the way the world is, thinking you are in control of you and a song comes on the radio that just wrecks you? Makes you laugh out loud at the ridiculous way you’re suddenly feeling?  I think that is one of the most fantastic things in the world!  I believe it’s one of the most powerful parts of our connection with each other.

I have been on a David Choi kick lately – don’t know if you’ve noticed that… (oh, come on!)

In case you haven’t read any part of my blog (and I’m pretty sure you have, ummmm you’re here now…), I have been finding a Choi song for pretty much every emotion coursing through my fairly recently improved circulatory system.  It’s quite disturbing.  :)  Here’s how my days have gone lately:

  • I play the CD (ok, mp3s on the ol’ BBerry) on the way to the gym (and I do sing along in the car)
  • I play the album while I’m working out (and try not to sing along, but I have caught myself mouthing the words. nobody has cleared away yet, so I might be very stealthy)
  • The songs continue to play on the way to and from work (with the predictable singing along) and they play while I’m at work (no singing along at work; I’m the boss)
  • Then I get home and put the headphones on and listen some more. (no singing cuz nobody there wants to hear it anymore)
  • This weekend I am going to fill up some time by learning some of my favorites on the guitar. (and I can sing all I want cuz it’s just me)

Official kudos to the very talented David Choi – I bought the album & highly recommend it.

I’ve been doing this for about 3 weeks now and I think have finally figured out why.  You may know I have posted before that music is what feelings sound like.  No?  Well it was a twitter thing, not a post, so I’ll let that slide. (but you could follow me on twitter too!)  You may also know that I have been, in years past, very involved in music (although I don’t know how you would know that).  Well apparently I am again.  I have a very strong music-emotion association and will in fact avoid music for extended periods of time or deeply submerge myself in it, depending on my circumstances.  That’s a new revelation to me.

Before I continue with why I’ve been so obsessed lately, I would like to share with you some of the major musical influences in my life, just as an educational piece before the point of of the post (cuz you know there’s will be one eventually); let’s us go back in time and review, shall we?  (don’t be scared, I’ve got you)

  • Go Away Little Girl by Donny Osmond - I used to sing it to the kindergarten girl on whom I had a crush… weird choice of song for someone I didn’t want to go away. (I was five, give me a break!  And besides, she liked it.)
  • Don Williams (any song) - One of my very first jobs was handling race horses on Saturday mornings (I always remember it being cold, but I’m pretty sure I worked the summer too).  The boss was a Don Williams fan.  As am I.
  • Frosty the Snowman by some evil Christmas-song writer - I performed this on stage when I was very young, forgot the words after the first verse and ran off the stage.  Not a good memory, but a very strong association.
  • Endless Love by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross - ”our song” for my first “true love”
  • Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey - Everybody in the world’s favorite song and a very strong association with most excellent concerts and the ‘tough times’ of high school.  When anything was possible and being the age I am now was never going to happen.
  • Anything by AC/DC, Boston, Van Halen, and other big hair bands - I spent several good years on stage in full big hair mode myself.  I was a rock star.  What’s not to like about that?
  • Boston (Third Stage) - The only album I had at my first military school after basic training.  I was top of my class and an American hero. Life was decent.  I don’t even like the album that much.
  • Garth Brooks (the first album) - Driving across Texas (and driving, and driving) to get to an Army school after getting back from Japan. I was very happy then.  And very jealous of Garth.  I can sing/play most of that album still…
  • Black by Pearl Jam - A very emotional, tough and volatile time in my life punctuated by one event which included this song.
  • David Choi - And here we are!  Hope you enjoyed the “journey” as much as I did… (well, I thought it was punny).

I have some very fantastic happenings in my life right now and have discovered this music at about the same time.  I’m pretty sure I’ve spent the last few weeks cramming those songs and whatever this new distraction is into every tiny piece of me that I can, so when I look back or hear one of these songs, it can all come flooding back and completely take me over.

I like that.  And I’m very happy to have you along.

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If I Haven’t Told You-

I am officially suffering from PMDD – post melodrama depression.

Speaking of melodrama, I have a fan. That’s right, a loyal following (in real life, even!) – and it is the coolest thing in the world. It has been a number of years since I was on stage with screaming, adoring fans and it is good.to.be.back.

heartOkay, so there was no screaming this time.

But seriously, evidently there was a girl who was lucky enough to be in the audience for the melodrama performance (if you weren’t, you really missed out and have to wait for the next one now) and who also decided that I was handsome (or at least cute, I was so taken aback at the story that I must have blocked part of it). You never know whose type you might be, right? Well this particular girl let it be known that she thought the beautiful southern belle (my melodrama love interest) was extremely lucky to be on stage with me and especially to kiss me. (gasp) Somebody pointed out that it wasn’t a real kiss, that we were acting (killjoy), but that she could probably get a hug from me if she wanted…

Evidently she wanted, because after the last performance an adorable young lady timidly made her way through the crowd (the crowd was leaving, not huddling around me) to where I was. I had the inside information enough to know that someone would be looking for me, so I asked said young lady her name (to make sure I wasn’t hugging random kids – I’m not that kind of creepy) and told her how cute she was. And then I got my hug. And it was fantastic. (did I mention the cuteness?) Totally thrilled me – and I hope it worked for her as well.

So that started the ol’ blogging wheels a turnin’…. And why, you ask, do I always have to tie some theme, moral or summary into my posts? Because that’s the difference between this and a diary.  That and you’re reading this… (somebody is actually reading this, right?)

For a lot of people, this is going to require a way-back machine.  Youth is fantastic for this; growing-up – not so much.

Do you remember what it’s like when somebody has a crush on you? I don’t believe for a moment that you don’t! It is such a lift – there is just that emotional high that comes from knowing another person cares about you, for whatever reason (unless it’s really creepy – then that ain’t right).  Flattery, appreciation, ego- it goes way beyond any of that (so don’t start!) if you recognize it as genuine.  Especially if they care enough to tell you.  (I hate that we lose that, I had no problem telling my kindergarten girlfriend that I loved her!)  Of course I’m not talking about full-out love here or the baggage that seems to come with that, but that spinning of the head and heart just from knowing that they see the value in you.

And just as importantly (maybe more so), do you remember what it’s like to have a crush on someone? I certainly hope that you do. (c’mon, you know you do) It is wonderful, exciting, scary, tingly, heart-healthy living. So full of possibilities! The rapture and jubilation (I was just in the melodrama, you know) at the thought that maybe they like you too, tinged with the panic that maybe they don’t or, even worse, you will get ignored. THAT is feeling alive. (even when you’re pretty sure it will kill you) Shoot, I can feel it just writing this post!

Now think about both of those combined and imagine what a better place our lives would be if we would allow ourselves to feel that way more and let the people who are the crushers/crushees know about it!  Go ahead!  You’ll thank me later.

Oh, and if I haven’t told you… I’ve got a crush on you.

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When I Was Your Age…

I can see my house from here!

I can see my house from here!

I don’t know if it’s the nearly full moon or my ‘melodramatic’ moodiness or the fact that I’m just a little not right all the time (that’s got my vote), but I’ve had several ‘remember when’ events today. Like what, you ask? Lemme tell you…

You might recall that I’ve never really been one for keeping in touch. I am, however, one to try out every new technology and website (part of the job, you know), including that newfangled thing called Facebook. One friend led to another and before you know it I’m connecting with people from high school (yes, I went to school). Part of the not keeping in touch regime calls for never going to any high school reunions or calling or writing (etc, etc, etc) and mostly not really caring, and I’ve been really good at that. I have to admit it has been fairly interesting to see what a few of those with whom I used to associate the boredom of school have developed into (and it can actually make you feel pretty good about how you turned out, depending on who you see and how you actually turned out).

ANYWAY… one of my friends from the old days ‘friended’ (would that be refriended, since we were already friends at one time?) me and let me know that he was going to be in my neck of the desert if I should want to meet up. Being the progressive-minded individual that I am and remembering that I actually was really good friends with this guy (at least I thought so, you’ll have ask him for mutuality) I agreed to said meeting.

We met this morning at one of the fine hiking areas here in Phoenix and successfully traversed the terrain of both the mountain and the years since we had seen each other. He is still cool, we got along well (and he is so witty; I like that) and will probably give the other a call should he be back here or I get back to the ol’ hometown.  Made me feel good about my choice in friends as I remember him being extremely smart and a little funny.  Turns out he is not only witty, he is literally a rocket scientist!

As an aside from that, I discovered a few things about myself on the little trek…

  1. My legs are really white
  2. I’m in better shape than I thought
  3. Miniature Dachshunds are really cute.  I mean really.
  4. It ain’t all bad re-associating with people

So the point of the post (you thought there wasn’t going to be one, didn’t you) and the reason for the title… as we were hiking across the green fields I got the ol’ deja vu (is there such a thing as the new deja vu?) and was hit with the flashback of roaming the green fields back home when I was a wee lad; when you would leave as soon as you woke up with the direction of ‘be back before dark’. I do remember spending hours away from home without my parents even worrying a little bit (that I’m aware of), with no schedule of where to go or what to do and no GPS to guide you back. I panic if my kids walk out to get the mail.

So there’s flashback one. The second was while I was driving around this evening with the top down (the car top, not mine. don’t be creepy) and drove by a field that was being irrigated. I love the smell of alfalfa, hay, fresh dirt and those other good-smelly country smells. But not cow. You’d think I would hate the smell of hay because I bucked about 30 thousand tons of hay growing up. Not real good money in that btw.

What was I saying?  Oh yeah!  The smell reminded me of getting up in the middle of the night to move sprinkler pipes.   Again, you’d think that would be a bad thing, but it was a really good flashback.  There are probably very few of you who even know what moving sprinkler pipes means, but when I was a teenager (13-17) back in 19none-of-your-business, I would get up at 2:00 in the morning (yes, there is a 2 in the morning also) and ride my bike 4 miles away to move sprinkler pipes or open irrigation, ride back home to get back to sleep so I could show up at 7 to start bucking hay! to earn money so I could buy my own clothes for school (or whatever). I think the youth of today are missing out on a great deal by not only not having to do that, but also by not living in a time and place that even makes that a reasonably safe thing to do.

Weird place to end a story, but now I feel old and I don’t like that.  And I’ve got pictures to post… so you’ll have to finish and tell me about what you did today.

Speaking of flashbacks…  I heard a song that made me think of you.  No not you; move over.  Yes!  You!  Here ya go.

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Bulldog Saves the Day

Okay, loyal fans of deehathaway.com…
You get the special preview of the melodrama photos & videos while I figure out the best way to get them shared with the world without killing servers & websites. :)

(((shhhh don’t tell anyone, cuz it’s pretty obvious that this site is a secret!!)))

Opening Night Photos – Friday, March 26 2010 (oh yeah!)

Closing Night Photos – Saturday, March 27, 2010 (that was fast)

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Melodrama Drama

how you doin...

how you doin...

Last night was the opening of the Buckeye Actor’s Guild presentation of “Bulldog Saves the Day”, in which I play the white-hatted sheriff who wins the heart and hand of the beautiful Ms Broadway. Tonight is the closing. I know, it seems like a pretty short run, but our outstanding cast will have such busy social calendars over the next few months after the agents see what we’ve done that we wouldn’t possibly be able to commit to more performances. (hey, it could happen!)

So I find myself facing a bit of personal drama as this production comes to a close – having spent quite a bit of time with what really is a fascinating mix of talent making new friends and generally having the time of my life, I’m really not looking forward to having it be over.

Bear with me, oh ye with years of stage experience, as I try to work through this.

Formerly a road-warrior, I used to be pretty good at taking on a project for a few months, working it until it was ready to be handed over and moving on without so much as a “I’ll keep in touch”. (I’m really bad at that keeping in touch thing as evidenced by my sparsely populated blogs). I’m not ready for this one.

Probably the best part of this new experience (for me), is that the melodrama is just playing. Sure there are lines to learn and places you have to stand and people who keep telling you not to drop them (even though you never have) and some very funny names to remember, but if you mess up your lines… it’s still funny! (usually funnier)

I’m quite amazed that even at my age I forget how to play; how to pretend. The best thing about pretending is that you can’t do it wrong. I feel so very old and wise sometimes (and am usually proven to be at least the first half of that combo) but I am continually reminded of how much there is still for me to do, to experience, to feel and to love.

So thank you attendees, for supporting us and letting us feel your energy. And laughing in all the right places.
Thank you directors, for making us all look so good (or at least trying to convince us we look good).
Thank you techies, for all those things that have to be done so the show can actually be seen.
Thank you Jeanine for casting me in this particular role, which I absolutely love.
Thank you Pat Cook (melodrama author) for writing my name into the play so Jeanine would have to cast me.
and Thank you cast, for putting up with my EGO (that’s right, I said it), keeping me humble when I needed it and making me feel like a hero on stage and off.

Here’s to you, Buckeye Actor’s Guild!  I’ll keep in touch.

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