Dee Hathaway

I was sitting here in my comfy little office chair (is it still an office chair if it’s not in a office?) listening to some Matchbox 20 and typing vigorously (yes, vigorously) while trying to get my random thoughts to resemble something coherent.. the song ended at around 5 minutes and all was quiet.  But I was  in the zone… I was distracted… I was heavy into being mused and didn’t have time to take a break to put on some more music.

Well I just thought the song had ended… it actually has about 3 minutes of no sound before it comes blasting back to life, which scared me just about half to death!

So when the heart calmed down, I sent the paramedics away and realized that I needed to take some of that frantic creating energy and write the post that I’ve been putting off all week.  (I’ve been busy?)

Ya.  That’s right.  That little story you just sat through isn’t even the post!  But keep reading, it’ll get better.  (it has to, doesn’t it?)

This post takes us all the way back to last Thursday (you remember last Thursday, don’t you?  No not this Thursday, the one before.  Ya, that one.  Good memory!)  Well, the house had gotten a little chilly cuz I’d been workin on the new exercise routine, so I just turned the thermostat off.  I ended up spending the night away from home, and evidently while I was gone the A/C decided that since I wasn’t going to use it anymore it wasn’t going to stick around.  When I came back to turn the A/C on Friday, it just blew hot air at me.

I sweat enough when th A/C is working… you can imagine what happens when it isn’t.  Ya.  Not pretty.

Fortunately, the nice guys at Parker & Sons A/C could send somebody out that night.
Unfortunately, I had a previous commitment.  So the A/C guy would come see me on Saturday.

My dilemma at that time was trying to figure out how much money I was willing to shell out at that time to have frigid air.  You see, the last of the quadruple digit temperatures was supposed to be over in a couple of days, and much cooler weather was on the way (ya. heard that one before).  So I decided to set my price limit low and see what happens.

The next morning I get a call from the nice un-hot peeps, and about 30 minutes later a repair truck pulls into the drive way.  Yay!  I took my head out of the freezer and waited impatiently for the ambassador of cool to come to the front door.  And I waited.  and waited.  and took a small nap.  And waited (you kinda see where I’m going with this?)

Finally, the dude gets out of the truck and heads for the front door – and I open it up to watch Fred in his nice stripey shirt and shorts… and a huge knee brace… gimp his way ever-so-slowly to my front door.  Oh, Fred wasn’t his real name. His real name is Bill, I just don’t want to use his real name in case he doesn’t like me posting about him.  Hey, if either you readers out there know Bill/Fred… don’t tell him I was talking about him, mkay?

Fred and I chat for a minute about what is now just a big fan on my roof, and he heads back to the truck, gimping like a peg-leg pirate to get the ladder.  He then proceeds to use the ladder as a crutch as he heads around to the back of the house.  Ever.so.slowly.

And I’m thinking “this guy is about to lean that same ladder against my house and limp up it so he can fall off my roof and ruin his other leg”.

Hey Fred!  Can you sign this waiver real quick?

Well, you know how beavers look kinda clumsy and waddly on land but do really well in the water and under logs and stuff?  Well that’s kinda how Fred was… gimpy on land but he did just swimmingly with a ladder and a roof!

After about 3 minutes of noodling around with the un-cooler (remember the uncola commercials?  good times), Fred climbed down off the roof and hobbled back to the front door to let me know that my A/C unit didn’t love me anymore.  Ya.  I knew that.  Thanks for the news flash.

Long story short (too late, I know), Bill Fred had the tiny, yet pricey, part replaced and it was all cool between me and the heat pump (ha!  get it?  ya.  ok.  moving on).  As I paid Fred for his time and parts and thanked him so much for keeping his cool (he didn’t laugh at that, so don’t feel like you have to) during the heat of the day, we started chatting about housing and politics and how awesome and fast he was at fixing A/C.

After Fred left with half my paycheck, I started thinking (finally, to the thinking part) about how I he sure turned out to be a whole lot more than I thought when he first walked up.  And about how after all I’ve been through this year, you’d think I would be a little less judgmental and more inclined to just see what happens. I still would have talked bad about his gimp leg (case in point, this post) hey it’s what I do.

There have been so many things in my life lately that have turned out to be completely different, so much better (gooder even), than I ever would have imagined.  Things that I just absolutely was not prepared for, and things that I saw coming and just held still while they washed over me, and some that I pursued with no idea how wonderful they actually could be.

And I think the thing most responsible for all the awesome sauce in my life is… me!  (big surprise there, huh?)   Do you know when you start finding good things?  When you start looking for them.  Do you know when good things come to you?  When you open up your heart and let them find you. Do you know when I think about you?  All the time.  Do you know when people start surprising you with their awesome goodness?  When you let them.  I’m so glad I let them.

And I’m so glad I have you here to share all of this with.  To share my stories (long and full of sidetracks though they may be).  To share my adventures and my days spent just laying around. To share my dreams and  my life.  Let’s go find/get/have more good things!

Hey! Is that a beaver?

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Hey guess what I did today?

Give up? Lemme script it out for you…

You: Well, let’s see. It’s Friday, so it must be yoga.

Ding! We have a winner! I do tend try to make the Friday morning yoga part of the routine. Lately my routine has been shaken a little bit, and I did miss last week. Musta had some good reason, cuz I do like the focus and centering and intentioning.

I got to yoga a little bit early today. I like to pick my spot in the back (cuz I’m shy like that) and in the center (cuz I do like being the center of intention). Wait… what?

On the way in, there was a new face who actually got there before me… actually the entire person was there, not just the face. N E way. This person said “Oh here’s a smart man”. I said “well, yes I am. But what makes you think so?”

And we chatted briefly about what good exercise yoga is, and how its not all putting your elbow in your ear (some of it is putting the back of your knee against your ear) and that most guys shy away from it. And it’s true… I’m usually the only male there.

But not today. There was another male there (gasp! competition!!). In fact, there were very few of the usual crowd there today.

The class went along quite smoothly (started on time, ended on time… I know!) and I was able to keep up with ALL of the poses (yay!) But what I really want to talk about (finally) is the last part of the class. You know, where we lie on our backs, and just focus on our intention and our purpose and our thought for the week/weekend/decade.

As I was laying there, supposedly focusing on my breath, the instructor/yoga guru/contortionist was talking the class through what is supposedly the most important part of the class. Just laying on the matt, releasing, relaxing, letting go. And I realized a few things right there. (you know I love my lists)

• We all would do so much better to just let go (thank you David Choi!)
• The air conditioning in that room doesn’t really kick on until about the end of class, when you’re already cooled down.
• I need to remember to make a potty stop before class. Phrases like “release, relax, just let go” do not help when ya gotta go!

Now when I started writing this, that was gonna be the end of the post, just a simple little story. But you know I just kinda make this stuff up as I go along. But there will be one thing different in this post. I’m not gonna make any deals. You just lay there and relax. Gather your strength. Recover.

As for me, I’m going to do a better job of just letting go. Yes, I believe that the path we take is due to the direction we turn ourselves. And very much to the destination we have set. (see any previous post) But sometimes I forget that I don’t control everything. (I know! It doesn’t seem fair to me either!) And I need to just let the things that need to happen… happen.  and trust that they will.

So here’s what I’m going to do. And what I’m not going to do. I’m going to focus on the things that I want, and not worry so much abou the things that I know I can’t control. I’m going to trust that things roll my way, and that the universe/God/superman gives me the things that I want (cuz I always get what I want) in due time, and not worry so much about the when or how, but more on the ‘done’.

Like using a GPS, I will program the destination, the outcome, the place I want to be, and the GPS/universe/destiny/David Choi can figure out the route. I’m going to do a better job at enjoying the view, at feeling the wind in my fabulous hair.  I’ll hit that finish line soon enough. I’ll see you there!

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I was at the gym the other day

Wait.. don’t go anywhere… this is a new post. It’s not a repeat or a ‘best of’ (if there could be a ‘best of’ what I try to pass off as blogging)… it’s just that I really do spend that much time at the gym.

Where were we? Oh ya… I was at the gym the other day, on the elliptical (where I usually start my day). One of the regular gym fanatics was there on the treadmill… treading? This particular guy is in pretty decent shape, and I’m pretty sure he has a thing going on with one of the regularettes, if you know what I mean (wink wink).

There’s nothing particularly unusual about someone being on the treadmill, but I noticed that this in-shape flirty older dude was treading away and a gimpy older guy came and limped his way on to the treadmill next to Mr. Flirty. And then a really… shapely (round IS a shape) gentleman got on the treadmill on the other side of ThingGoingOnMan. And for just a second I thought that it was kinda sad for that guy to have the two… not so fit people surround him and throw off his groove. (yes, I’m a fitness snob)

And as I thought about it for a minute, I thought how that really must work for the fit guy. That it makes him look that much better to be in such good shape (comparatively speaking) and have the not-so-good-shape people around him.

And then I started wondering how I look compared to the people around me.. am I the flirty in-shape guy or the round/gimpy guy?!?! Let’s not spend any more time thinking about that. (who started talking about this anyway!)

Speaking of time, I’ve been spending quite a bit of it on the stairs at the gym… and it’s kicking my butt! I guess you couldn’t really call it quite a bit of time… its more like 10 minutes. On level 8, btw. It’s funny how in some cases 5 minutes seems to carry on for 20 minutes (or 45 or an hour), and sometimes an hour seems like 5 minutes (okay.. already did that post. bring it back, hathaway) but I have no problem sticking to the time on the stairs. hmmm

If you haven’t done the stairs… 10 minutes is just about forever. And, you may not know this about me, but I tend to work up a sweat fairly easily.  I sweat more on the stairs than almost anywhere.  It’s the one place where I can drip without fear. My favorite part of the stairs is the end (when it’s over!) and the machine says “Goal Attained”. I really like that part.

When I saw that for the first time, I started thinking about how that phrase plays into our lives (if you didn’t see that coming you’re either new here or it’s been longer since I last posted than I thought). And I came up with a few thoughts that I’d like to share.

• My legs are tan. I mean really tan. No whiteness anywhere.  It’s awesome.
• People who kick my trash on the stairs don’t really have that much to brag about.
• Penguins are adorable.
• Penguins probably don’t tan very well.

Hey, I never said the thoughts would have anything to do with the rest of the post… but I was thinking about what the machine was telling me. And I started thinking about paths and destinations and circles and goals. My goal is to be the stair-master, to be able to climb mountains and not have to wait breathlessly on top while a frail girl who out-climbed me calls the helicopter to rescue me. But my immediate goal, the steps I’m taking (heh… heh.. get it. stair-climbing… steps I’m taking. oh shut up and keep reading) are what will get me to the ultimate goal. to the top of the mountain.

And so it is in our paths. in our lives. It’d be so much easier to just know how it’s all going to turn out, to just be at the top of the mountain. But I think there’s a lot to be said for the steps along the way, for the surprises that show up and make us laugh, make us cry,maybe embarrass us a little bit, but certainly let us know we are alive.  For hitting those milestones and markers as we travel. One big success is awesome, but wouldn’t it be better to have a whole bunch of little successes along the way? You can still have the celebration at the top, btw.

So as we travel this path that we’re on, let’s not be so focused on the destination that we lose sight of all the pretty things along the way. Or how lucky we are to be able to travel this path at all… how each level we get to needs to be remembered and celebrated for the awesome achievement that it is. So let’s make sure that we enjoy the journey, that we travel with abandon and excitement.  That we don’t get so wound up in the goal that we don’t stop and check out the world’s biggest ball of twine.  Take a rest.  Breathe deep.  (and for heaven’s sake turn down the AC before I sweat all over everything!)  Find your center.  We’ll get to that ‘Goal Attained’… we just need to keep believing and wanting and working (and yes, working up a sweat) and celebrating. and we’ll get there together!

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