Dee Hathaway

Happy New Year!

Please be safe and happy tonight, and every night through 2012. And I plan to say the same thing next year, no matter what the Mayan calendar says.

I’ve been pondering and thinking and wondering and procrastinating about what to write to ring in the new year, and to celebrate my heartattackiversary (and about a lot of other things too, but we’ll stick to the new year for now). And tonight I think I finally found it.

I was looking through Facebook earlier today and found a post about the new year that I really found amusing… so naturally I wanted to make fun of the poster share it with you here. It was pretty much like this:

Derp: Happy New Year to all my friends in Derpland! Wonder what your resolutions will be lol!

Derpina: I never make resolutions cuz I think there’s no need to wait until next year to change something you don’t like about your self tralala…

Derp: OMG right?!?! Like why wait? There’s no time like the present lol!

Me: Oh to be 14 and in control of everything in my life.

For those who can just decide to make a personal change at any old time and see it through, I salute you. But I’m writing today to those of us who live here in the “real” world, where change isn’t something that we have the opportunity to do every day. Kids, jobs, bills, bosses, life, cats… these things seem to force us into routine. As a kid we think when we are older we will be able to have control of our own lives, to do/be whatever we want. As we actually get a little older we think that when we have enough money we’ll be able to do/be whatever we want. And as we get still a little older we think that there is so much depending on us, and once we get through all of that, we’ll be able to do/be whatever we want.

I think the part that we lose sight of once we turn.. oh 4 or 5.. is that we have had the power to do/be whatever we want all along. We lose sight of that because we have been brought up believing that it’s wrong to put ourselves first (ok… so certain exceptions apply here. Yes, hipsters, I’m talking to you) and most of us have taken that to the extreme that we give up who we are entirely because we think that’s what we need to do in order to make other people happy. That somehow we need to become some different version of ourselves.  Not who we really are, but a person that others expect us to be.  And maybe we do that to let those around us be who they want to be, or at least who we think they want to be. (Confused yet? Ya me too!) And all we end up with is a lot of people pretending they’re happy in order to make other people happy… and nobody is really happy!

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

(bring it back Hathaway)

OK so short version of that = if you want the people around you to be happy, be happy with yourself.

I love the thought of making change whenever we want, it’s  just that it’s seldom easy to do. Which brings me to the point of the post (finally!!!)

I’m one of those people who like new. I like new car smell. I like new dogs and cats (aka puppies and kitties). I like new undies and adventures and I like New Years. Remember that part a couple of paragraphs ago about routine? (you can go back and reread, I’ll wait). Well a new year isn’t routine. Yes, it happens every year, but it is pretty much the opposite of routine… it’s what it’s name implies. It’s a New year! And new means starting over, beginning again, clean slate, a new calendar, new numbers, a new tax season.

With the new year, and according to some superstitions the last year you’ll get, I challenge you to not just make 2012 another year. Don’t let this chance to start something new pass you by. And don’t settle for the same old resolutions that everybody makes. Make 2012 the year of your revolution; a chance to break away from the old you and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. A revolution is: “a fundamental change in power or organizational structures that takes place in a relatively short period of time.”

This is your time to make that fundamental change.

So let’s take pause as we remember all the things we meant to do last year, or last decade(s), and remember that the only thing we can really change in life is… us. The biggest difference we can have on those around us, on the world, and most definitely on ourselves, is to become who we were meant to be. I love who you are… let everyone else have a chance to love that person too!

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Finally!

Finally we get some cooler weather!! What’s that? You thought I was saying finally cuz I haven’t posted in so long? Ha ha! I don’t even post often enough to worry about how often I post!

But since I brought it up… I’m SO glad it’s finally cooled down! Here in the Valley of the Sun, or as we who live/bake here call it, the Valley on the Sun, cooler weather means anything below 80. At night. With the cooler weather comes a few other things too.

* cooler temps (weird, right?!?)
* sweaters
* snow-birds (aka traffic)
* never seeing sunlight outside of work hours (it’s a daylight savings time thing)
* quiet

Oh yes… the quiet. No, it’s not the soft sound of snowflakes falling, although that does happen… just never here.

I was walking through the house the other morning opening the blinds/curtains/sash in the hope that Saint Nick soon would be there. Wait. Wrong story.

I was in the living room opening the curtains to let the light in on a plant that I’ve adopted, and am still trying to prove that I can keep alive, when I realized how quiet it was. It wasn’t the absence of cars driving by, or music on the radio… it was the quietness of the power meter. In the summer that thing spins like… well… like… like a really spinny thing! and the sound of the money eeking away is much like a leaf blower sending leaves across the lawn.

So… along with the cooler weather comes thoughts of the upcoming melodrama (yes that again). You’re going to hear a whole lot about that, especially since it has become such an important part of my life. Did you know I have been tasked with (aka volunteered for) writing the next melodrama? Oh yah; that’s me. There have been a few meetings with the more imaginative players, and they have been very open to my ideas… but I’m starting to feel the pressure here.

For those of you involved in the melodrama (yes, I’m talking to you), do not fret; I have never missed a deadline. For those of you not involved in the melodrama (yes, both of you), why aren’t you in the melodrama?????

As I have been writing the script (for those without a program, here’s where I start to drift toward the point), I have realized how hard it is to make a story up as you go along. And it was just a little while ago that the thought hit me (and it didn’t even hurt)… it’s easier to visualize a destination than a path.

I found it much easier to start the dialogue knowing where everything would end up rather than figuring out how everybody would meet…. and then figuring out how to get all the characters there.

It’s so much easier to have a final destination in mind, and so hard to make life up as you go along!   Example? Oh you got it!

If you want to get to… let’s say… La Jolla. It so much easier to plot that as your destination and figure out how to get there than to say I want to go on vacation and try to figure out where to go next, without any idea where you will end up. If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter which way you go.. right???

I guess what I’m trying to say ((finally)) is that the toughest job we have as travelers, as adventurers, as friends and lovers and people, is to figure out where we want to be. It’s not to figure out what the next step is… any GPS can tell you the next turn… it’s to find the final destination.

So my challenge to you is to figure out where you most want to be… and if you already know that, then to keep remembering.  It’s OK to stop and see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine on the way, and you may have to stop and change an occasional flat tire (it happens). But keep in mind that the ball of twine is not your destination (oh please tell me it isn’t!!!) and that a flat tire is merely a distraction. Never forget where you want to be!

I think it was Covey who said “sharpen the saw”. Which has nothing to do with this post. But he also said “begin with the end in mind”, and I think that really applies to our everyday lives. To our dreams. To our future.

We get what we focus on. Call it a prayer, an intention, a goal, a focus… we end up where we really want to be. Let’s help each other remember what we really want most.  And to keep our eyes on the prize (I wish I could come up with more motivational rhyming stuff here, but I got nothin’!)  Should you lose focus, let me be your guide. Cuz I want only the best for you. Your happiness is my intention!

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Seal meets girl. Seal falls in love with girl. The end. from Bob Dobalina on Vimeo.

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I was flipping through movie sites on the interwebs today (much like a normal person would flip through TV channels) and landed on a movie called “Stardust”.  it’s about a star that falls from the sky, and the young man who captures her to take her as a gift to his supposed true love.  I don’t want to give away a whole lot more than that, cuz it’s been added to the list of movies that we should see together.  (that’s getting to be a long list!!)

There were quite a few things running through my mind as I watched this particular part of the show (cuz I’m a bit AD… whatever the next initial is… and can’t think of just one thing at a time)…

1. My leg hair is so blond that at times it doesn’t even seem like I have leg hair.
2. My head hair is so blond that at times it doesn’t even seem like I have any thoughts.
3. I don’t know when people first started wishing on stars.

Well I can’t do a whole lot about number 1, except maybe dye my leg hairs.. and that ain’t gonna happen (so just put that mascara away!!).  And there’s definitely nothing I can do about number 2.  So I Googled (it’s what i do) number 3.  Actually I googled falling stars, but you know what I mean.  :)

The answers covered a pretty broad range, as you would expect them to when asking the internet.  There really isn’t any evidence regarding where or when the practice of wishing on a star started, but there are some rather interesting ideas.  So I thought I’d share a little of what I found with you now, mkay?

• Japan has what is called the Tanabata or “star” festival.  According to legend, this is the time when two stars Altair and Vega (I had a sister-in-law who drove a Vega once), which are usually separated by the Milky Way (mmmmm, tasty!), meet.
• The Greeks thought falling stars to be rising or falling human souls.
• Some associate shooting stars with angels, so wishing on a star might be considered the same as offering up a prayer.
• There are a whole bunch of fun-haters who will tell you that they are not shooting stars at all, but meteors or space dust or astronaut poo or the pedal off of ET’s bicycle.  We all know they are not actually stars, but come on!  Have an imagination once in a while (imaginations can be pretty fantastic!)
• In Chile, when you spot a shooting star, you should pick up a stone in the same moment and make your wish then.  If you’re in the Philippines, you should tie a knot in your handkerchief (which would work if you’re in a gang or have a cold, but why else would you be carrying a handkerchief?)
• In The Night Before Christmas, Ma was in her kerchief.  She must be Phillipino, whadya think?

We all need something to believe in.  And we all need more wishes.  One of the more important parts of wishing on a star, falling or not, is the act of wishing itself.  Have you ever noticed that once you get interested in something, you see it everywhere?  Like if you are thinking about buying a CTS, you start to see them all over the place.  It’s the same with everything, including wishes.  We attract what we focus on.  And it’s the very same for things that we wish for.  What is a wish but a focus on something that we want?  The more we wish, the more we focus, the more we attract, and the more likely we are to get what we wish for.

Get so fixated on what you want, that you drown out any vibration or reverberation that has anything to do with what you do not want. — Abraham

To help you out, here are a few handy items from the wish-list of the Dee…

• Always keep a wish handy.  You never know when you’ll see a falling star or birthday candle or tunnel, and you won’t have time to search around for what it is you want. cuz…
• Shooting stars disappear as quickly as they appear. When you see them, grab them quick and hang on tight!
• Keep looking up.  Don’t worry so much about being ‘grounded’.  You’re not going to see any shooting stars if you’re staring at your feet.

Once you make a wish, you can’t just let it sit there.  You have to do something about it.  Your wish is just the starting point.  Embrace it. Believe in it.  Live it.

The very most important part of wishing is… having something to wish for.  Something that you want so very much that it occupies your mind, that you see it everywhere.  It’s so important that you know what it is that you want.   If you don’t know what you want, how do you know you don’t already have it???  I know what I wish for.  I wish for you.  I wish for you and me.  I wish for you and me to be happy.

And I think that maybe my wishes have already come true!!

thank you zannr for some of the ideas here!

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