Yes it’s really me. You probably thought I got killed and died or fell off a cliff or broke my typing finger or something. I know I’ve been very neglectful of our time here (neglectified? Neglectorial?) Lemme rephrase… I know I haven’t spent enough time here with you lately, but I have a really good reason. And she’s SO awesome and gorgeous and fun and witty and stuff!
I appreciate your patience all this time. And I so love and adore you for being here as I worked through my own growth… through my own issues… and as you waited so patiently through this part of my story. You really do mean SO much to me and have made all the difference in my life. I will do better. So… I ‘m sure you have questions (you’d better!)… such as:
Where have I been?
Who is she?
How did youse guys meet?
What happens next?
All of your questions (well, all of those questions, anyway) will be answered if you just keep reading. (see what I did there? It’s called a ‘teaser’. Kinda like “there’s a common household product you probably use every day that may be killing your children right now… tune in at 6 for all the details” or that girl in 9th grade who… oh wait. That’s a ‘tease’. Never mind.)
So anyhoo… I’m gonna jump to the end of story first, and tell you about what just happened and what happens next, then we’ll circle around and tell you about the beginning (just like in those movies where you can’t figure out what’s going on!!)
Let me set the scene for you (I am a playwright, after all… hellooo…). It’s October 6th, 2012, and I’m about to propose (yes, marriage) to the woman I love more than ALL the things. I’ve spent weeks putting this together and it all happens tonight (or last night, since I’m writing this the next day). BFF* believes that I’m going to Lake Powell fishing with my brother all weekend, and is headed to Vegas to see Wicked with her daughter and gdaughter. The plan is set (a massive thank you to those involved in ‘the plan’!!! You’re awesome!!!); Instead of fishing, I’m going to Vegas to surprise her. (There’s way more to the story… keep reading.)
The plan (cuz you need to know now) calls for BFF and all her fam with whom she is staying to be out of the house so I can get the aforementioned “putting together” together. But they can’t be back until after dark because, creepy stalker that I am, I’m gonna be outside looking in until the appropriate entrance time.
So BFF and I are texting as usual… keeping it casual. Me on the way to “the lake”; BFF at a ballgame and then going to the show. I get to Vegas about an hour early, and I’ve been going crazy all day. My stomach is in knots, I haven’t slept in way too long, and I’m not sure I’ve taken a breath in the last 3 hours. Then I get the text “I see your brother caught a fish”.
BFF thinks I’m on a boat with a fishing pole in my hand. So (having misdirected enough already) I say “one of us had to” and stop texting for the night, so as to not blow it. Then I clue the brother and his spousal unit in on my big fat lie! without giving anything away Then I’m off to the daughter’s house to get ready. Way.too.early.
In order to make sure it’s dark (and to play along with my plan), the fam goes out to a pizza place for annoying games and cardboard pizza (thanks again!!). And then… showtime.
When the man-o-that-house walked in unannounced I just about passed out. Dude. Too much. But he’s just the scouting party to make sure I’m ready when the real show starts. And I am. For the most part. 🙂
I got the 15 minute warning, put on my sheriff’s outfit and headed for the patio. So we were set… my BFF walked in and the accomplices sat her down in front of the TV. Remember the big prep? Well that played on the TV while I waited outside. And then, at the appropriate moment (you’ll know when) I came in from outside. Yes me… who was supposed to be hours away sleeping on a boat… shaking like an epileptic chihuahua going through withdrawals. Then down on one knee, ring in hand. Surprise proposal accomplished.
Watch the movie. It answers the first of the questions. As for what happens next? Well, just check back and see.